June 30, 2005
The Cruise Factor
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In this glorious day of the internet, there are readily available opinions from people of all walks of life. This site, for example, contains much opinion. (It just happens that my opinions are fact.) While we’re all completely entitled to our opinions, The Cruise Factor is no opinion. You should be careful that, as you form opinions, you apply them to the filter of The Cruise Factor, lest you cause yourself to look like a complete idiot.
The Cruise Factor is the phenomenon that makes all of Tom Cruise’s opinions wrong. You shouldn’t try to understand The Cruise Factor: you should just accept it for what it is.
So, how should you apply The Cruise Factor to your own life? It’s very easy. When forming an opinion, find out what Tom thinks about the topic. Then make your opinion the exact opposite. You don’t even have to apply any logic in forming your opinion because, since you understand the practical appliation of The Cruise Factor, you will always be correct.
Proper understanding of The Cruise Factor will keep you from looking like an idiot. It may also help keep you away from some really bad movies.
6 Comments on The Cruise Factor »
June 30, 2005
Gaines @ 11:33 am:
Wha?
Although I wish he’d keep his mouth shut when not on-screen, the guy has been in a lot of GREAT films.
Ron @ 11:46 am:
Any Cruise movie that turns out to be good is good in spite of Cruise, not because of him.
Gaines @ 12:25 pm:
I have to disagree. As much as I dislike him as a person, he is a pretty good actor. I thought he did a great job in Collateral, the latest Cruise movie I’ve seen.
Wulfgar42 @ 1:45 pm:
The only movies Tom Cruise has been “good” in are ones where he basically plays himself–Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Jerry MacGuire, Minority Report, etc. Take a good, objective look at his character and if it’s not a big-headed, pseudo-cool, punk with an attitude problem, then he generally sucks in the movie and you come to hate him by the end of two hours. He doesn’t act, he just manages to secure a lot of parts wherein he plays a character that closely reflects himself. I would suspect Collateral is the same way, though I have not seen it.
I agree with “The Cruise Factor” wholeheartedly. I just wish there were some website out there that collected the opinions of Tom Cruise in a nicely searchable manner to use for reference.
Gaines @ 2:04 pm:
Actually, Collateral is very different from the others you mentioned. True, you do hate him at the end of 2 hours, but it’s because he’s the bad guy. And he plays a pretty creepy, easy-to-hate bad guy.
No disagreement on the playing himself deal, though. I think the clinical term is Matthew Perry Sydrome.
Gaines @ 2:13 pm:
er, “Syndrome.”