Calling Comcast (or trying to, at least)

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I tried calling Comcast today.  I needed to speak with someone who can talk to me about network abuse issues.  The first guy I called said “network - as in the internet?”  I swear to you all, that’s a direct quote.  The second guy I called hung up on me.

If anybody who reads this knows how to get a human within Comcast’s network abuse department (or, as they call it, Customer Security Assurance), please let me know.